Cheese

3 weeks ago by @hornesgiftshop

Liner Notes

True story 😔. Not the chorus obviously.

I know "amalgam" isn't pronounced like that.

#acousticonetake #rocknroll

Lyrics

My baby wears the coolest clothes
Jeans cut tight and a Paisley blouse
The softest cotton, the finest silk
Only one problem, she's allergic to milk

Not just milk but cheese and butter too.
Now there's no one finer from Tranent to Timbuktu.
She said to me in a smoky voice:
"Johnny boy, you've got to make a choice."

Baby don't make me choose between cheese and you
I really don't know what I'm supposed to do
I love you more than jam or honey
Cricket, cars or money
But giving up cheese is going to break me in two

Trouble started late one night
We'd been kissing and whatever till the morning light
Then she woke up with swollen lips
A sore throat and a terrible lisp

Earlier that evening I'd been eating a pizza
With gorgonzola and mozzarella
Washed down with Bailey's
And a cup of milky tea
Turned out my baby was allergic to me

Baby don't make me choose between you and cheese
Can't you see I'm down on bended knees
I love you more than Perry Como
Murakami or minty Polos
But life without Wensleydale means nothing to me

She's got light brown skin and freckles on her nose
What she sees in me, nobody knows
She makes me laugh, she's an amazing kisser
If I chose cheese, I'd really miss her

Tofu on toast with Branston pickle
Hard soya bean amalgam that tastes a little
Like Parmesan, almost. The future looks dreary
At least we can smother it in garlic and chilli

Ossau-iraty, Jarlsberg and Brie
Lancashire, Camembert, bianco Verde
Lincolnshire Poacher, Yorkshire Blue
Forget them all, I choose you

Baby don't make me choose between cheese and you
I really don't know what I'm supposed to do
I love you more than jam or honey
Cricket, cars or money
But giving up cheese is going to break me in two

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