Stationery Target

by @wobbiewobbit

Lyrics

american friends what can i say?
it has come to my attention with some dismay
i've discovered a scandal of shocking proportions
my mind is bent in flabbergasted contortions

cant believe i didnt know this before
but from california to baltimore
and canada! vancouver to montreal
you don't even have this thing at all!

when you go to the stationery store
what do you put in your paper drawer?
i know one thing for sure
it's not the heroic sheet of A4

to the rest of the world it's what a sheet of paper IS
and the way the series works - well get a load of this
a metre square in that ratio
is the standard numbered A zero

root 2 from the diagonal of a square
the magic number was always there
1.414 to one
means exponential halving and doubling fun

such a superior shape
portrait folding into landscape
and the ratio stays just the same
again and again and again

letter, legal but why do you shun
29.7 by 21 (that's centimetres!)
can you not see that your format is flawed
get civilized now my Imperial Lords

i dunno how do you all cope with it!
how'd you get your posters n flyers to fit?
practical elegance, scalable perfection
stationery target of overlooked affection

a good old sheet of A4
put your kid's art up on the fridge door
a uniting force after the second world war!
spreading to (nearly!) every shore

i found out! you can get it online
don't worry transatlantic friends you'll be fine
you don't have to live this way
you could start using it today
it'll fit in your paper tray!
order now! don't delay

Comments

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so true! and wonderful rhyme..."such a superior shape, portrait folding into landscape"
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As someone who has spent the last 40 years in IT, dealing with it all from high speed line printers, dot matrix, the advent of laser, I just have to say I am sick of resetting default page sizes 💩 Beautifully said again Wobbie, your ability to get to the crux of what ails the modern beast is uncanny. Loved it 😎
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So good! I'll never look at paper the same way — and I miss A4, and A3, and A5 — all of them! — so much.
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First thing I heard when I woke up! Had to tone down my laughing! Classic Wobbie the great observationalist! Love it
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Amazing writing as always Wobbie. Shows you can make a song about anything. Only thing is A4 doesn't fit in my printer!
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ANSI B (11"x17") is my fav!!! I will never look at my printer the same way again
we may all be looking eastward soon.
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Damn...I've been in IT over 20 years and never knew that about A4 over here in the benighted lands of 8.5 x 11"! 😀 This is great....never thought a song about a paper size could be a thing! Hehehe! (I almost never print, but I should order some just because...)
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This is amazing! 😂 I love the extremely detailed examination of the characteristics of the paper! "Flabbergasted contortions" is a fantastic lyric. Love the measurements and math too! I laughed out loud at:

it's not the heroic sheet of A4
to the rest of the world it's what a sheet of paper IS
how'd you get your posters n flyers to fit?

Thanks for this fun listen!
[avatar]
i love the metaphorical satire as well as the common sense solutions put forth in this deadpan hilarious song that reminds me of the societal comedy-drama of the kinks. yes, america has always been behind the 8 ball with their so=called improvements on continental standards. in movies, it was supplanting the 1 66 aspect ration with 1 85. wild humor breaks through the cracks as wobbie sings in both the voices of the straight man and the comic in this elaborate takedown of the dimensions of the standard american notebook paper.
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Baltimore shoutout :D This is the best song I've ever heard written about A4 paper. Man we do everything so weird over here.
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I never considered the importance of A4 before. Such an educational song! What a fun subject for a song and really like the music and vocals!! I'll go check out the A4, I wish that was the only thing wrong with America these days.
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Love that. Gonna place an order today. That last verse was awesome. Really liked the again and again and again sequence too. Thanks for shining a light on A4!!!
[FAWM]