FAWM: "The Night Ray Met John"

The Night Ray Met John

NSFW

Liner Notes

Ray sez: I was going through some garbage cans the other night (in a bad section of town if I'm being honest.) And, well, how was I to know this ramshackle hillbilly cabin belonged to fellow FAWMer, John Staples? Well, anyhoo, he got all butthurt because I was making a bit of a mess in his trash and he kidnapped me and tried to domesta...democramate...er...tame me. But I t'weren't havin' any of that. So I kicked his ass and showed him who was boss and then we wrote this song about the whole incident!

John's comments: Hmmm, well I remember everything a wee bit different but hey, I just feel lucky to be able to collaborate with FAWM legend Ray D. Opossum!

#bluegrass #opossum #possum

Lyrics

The Night Ray Met John
February 17, 2025

John:
the other night
I heard a noise
beside my kitchen door
my trash can was a rattlin'
there was garbage on the floor
when I looked inside I noticed
the cutest little thing
I grabbed that raggedy ass opossum
and he began to sing

Ray:
let me go
motherfucker
let me go
I am not the kind of animal
that you would like to know
put me down
you rat bastard
put me down
I'll hold your head under the water
'til you drown

John:
now I don't speak
opossum
but his voice was oh so sweet
so I took him to the pantry
to get him a bite to eat
I offered him some chicken
he just gobbled it all down
then I plopped him in a rabbit cage
and I thought I saw him frown

Ray:
let me out
you crazy asshole
let me out
I cannot live in this dumb cage
of that I have no doubt
set me loose
you big dumbass
set me loose
I'll bite your nuts
put your big head in a noose

John: I think I'll name him Ray
Ray: let me out I'll leave today
John: he seems to like me quite a lot
Ray: if I was armed you would be shot
John: he's so cute a bit dramatic
Ray: I'm gonna poop all over your attic
John: such an excellent pet I'm keeping
Ray: I will kill you while you're sleeping

John:
I was so sad this morning
cause my possum pet was dead
he didn't move
he smelled real bad
his eyes rolled in his head
I laid him beneath
the willow tree
for a funeral today
then he jumped up
flipped me off and ran away

Ray:
bite my sack
you stupid jackass
bite my sack
I was merely playing possum
I was never dead in fact
kiss my butt
you crank wanker
kiss my butt
but I'll be back tonight for chicken
and doughnuts

(c) copyright 2025 Ray D. Opossum & John Staples
https://radiopossum.com/2025-FAWM/RayDOpossum-JohnStaples-TheNightRayMetJohn.mp3

Comments

@beacon 21h

The ultimate collab I didn't know that I needed. Two of FAWMs biggest names all together. The bluest of bluegrass and sass. I'm glad Ray didn't die in this one. It always seems like it's a murder ballad involving trucks in Ray's songs.

@ajna1960 1d

This is just brilliant - biggest smiles for weeks here in my old cabin on the Irish west (and wet) coast - no opossums here though sadly.

@tamsnumber4 4d

Wow, the banjo playing in this is amazing and great production. I hope when you see that critter again, you should lecture him on his language! LOL! This is a great idea, a duet, so well done. The lyrics are very vivid and clear, might need to lay out a trap and move that smelly rodent to a church. LOL!

@handsomefalcon 4d

It's giving HUNDREDS OF BEAVERS (complimentary). Beautiful technical execution, fun little back-and-forth ready for live call-and-response.

@grayland 4d

Beautifully done bluegrass. Awesome collab for you two! Which one of you wrote the lyrics? Totally hilarious and brilliant. Awesome sing-off betwixt yoos toos.. I can't get enuf... gotta go back for anuther listen...and then prolly anuther.. Awesome work, stunning and the radio stations only wish they had songs this enjoyable to play.

@mandolinda 4d

Bluegrass Nirvana, always a treat to hear good bluegrass pickin’ And the story is one for the ages.

@bradbrubaker 4d

A collab for the ages. Great Ray choruses/responses
Favorite bit:
John: such an excellent pet I'm keeping
Ray: I will kill you while you're sleeping

@odilongreen 5d

That chorus (i.e., the "Ray" parts)... all three of them... just glorious. So very, very glorious. The duet I didn't know I needed, but now I'll never forget!

@mikeb 6d

A classic Posssum song. Never expected to hear a *duo* song! Fine banjo picking and hysteric lyrics!

@rinwolf 6d

This was a joy to listen to. Awesome mix, tapped my foot the entire time. Awesome collab! A match made in heaven (or attic?)

@john_p 6d

As someone who appreciates a good sense of humor, combined with some serious musical chops, I approve of this song! I've been wondering if you guys are a group of session musicians, having some anonymous fun!

@damschen 6d

Quite the tale from two very different perspectives! Love the banjo!

@katestantonsings 6d

OMG I needed that laugh today. Well done--so creative & entertaining!!

@overflow 6d

LOL! This song is well written and so funny! And I love the music.

@jerrypettit 6d

This song is TRASH!!

I mean, it's "trash" in the sense that raccoons--and raccoon-lovers (and I am a dues-not-paying member of the Facebook group that honors Ray O. Possum)--would love it.

Great banjo and nice choice for Ray's voice. I guess a lifetime of eating garbage can do that to one's vocal chords... ❤️

@judypie 6d

Oh you guyssssss!! Huge grin, multiple lols! This is a musical DELIGHT and I love it 😁 It’s perfection. Gonna listen again. Pure FAWM joy ❤️

@billwhite51 6d

this is a gas. what a story fabulously told. i love ray's vulgar profanity. it is such a contrast with john's myopic friendliness. the storytelling is so slick that i was even surprised when the apparently dead opossum jumped up and cursed his way out of the song. great job guys,and you have my vote for funniest song of the month.

@coolparadisoMod 6d

So funny! I knew you were no match for him John

@gindark 6d

Oh please, I am dying, cannot breathe! The back and forth is *chef's kiss*! Can't pick a favourite line but "cute, a bit dramatic / poop all over your attic" has to be up there.
Also now can't help but wonder how other animals regard us. Cats: "stop petting me and make with the food, sucker" etc

@celineellis 6d

This is just perfection. The backing track is just country bluegrass heaven. Upbeat jingle jangly goodness while im drinking coffee. Then to the lyrics and back and forth between you both - the story is hilarious, and you both have delivered it so well. Great collab - left me wanting more - a sequel??