Post-Nut Clarity

3 weeks ago by @merdafuit

Lyrics

The sirens in my head are calling back,
again and again, to those well-haunted sins;
that self-destructive headlong dive
into unrestricted hedonistic reverie.

While I pretend not to hear them
they doppler around the edges
shrieking in ebbs and flows,
chromatic shifts of reds and blues;
claim my ego for my id for their own.

And I’ll never look away
And I’ll never look away
And I’ll never look away

Still and yet I hold my breath,
close my eyes, pinch my nose, and
jump once more off of the cliff
that over-arches the fragmented pathway
of a life lived on the fringes of sanctity
(or whatever it is that we’re calling
giving in again and again and again and again
until we’re left chafed and winded,
tacky with the residues of regret and recrimination).

And I want to look away
And I want to look away
And I want to look away

Transfixed as I am on the every only moment,
monomaniacal to the end of the earth and beyond,
I will sin and lapse and waste away.

Renewal only comes via the very most limited of hopes
that through this lack of absolution
I can find my way back to a place,
if such a place can even remain,
that I might call the last home
without the need for the treadmill
that tears apart the fragile walls
of my weak-willed heart.

And I’ll never get to forget
And I’ll never get to forget
And I’ll never get to forget

Comments