FAWM: "H-E-Double Hockey Sticks"

H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

3 weeks ago by @jeff9

Liner Notes

#acoustic 1+1
Started writing this silly little thing on Wednesday to perform during @unknownbecky's Friday Songsidekick Song Circle. Prompt for this week was "Spell It Out". Since I'm gonna be out of FAWM action for a week or so during February, I figured it was semi-kosher to throw one or two songs onto the pile even if I did start them a few days before the whistle blew. Hopefully, folks from the southern US (and maybe Canadians) are familiar with this sorta elderly church-lady approach to avoiding swearing.

Lyrics

H-E-Double Hockey Sticks
Jeffrey Walker - 2025

V1
Took the kids to Florida it was 98 degrees
The sidewalk was so hot it nearly brought me to my knees
Didn’t want to cuss in front of them so I just meant to spell
(But I said) “H-E double hockey sticks this place is hot as hell!”
Well, I tried…
My flip flops are fried…Sorry kids

V2
Dropped into a cantina in a Texas border town
Ordered up some chili and a beer to wash it down
My eyes began to water, my ears rang like a bell
“H-E double hockey sticks, this stuff is hot as hell!”
Well, I tried…
But I admit it—I cried…Just a little

V3
My recipe for cornbread called for a cast-iron pan
Heated it til smoking and then grabbed it with my hand
You can guess where this is going, I soon began to yell
“H-E double hockey sticks that handle’s hot as hell!”
Well, I tried…
But cornbread—denied…I think maybe that cussing was justified

BR
Sometimes we have the best intentions
Seems like my mama once mentioned
Something about a road to someplace
Being paved with those

V4
Well I hope I go to heaven and see the pearly gates
If I don’t cuss too much, maybe that’ll be my fate
Ignore what’s in the slick brochure the devil tries to sell
Saying H-E double hockey sticks, come see us down in hell
Well, I’ve tried
Hope they let some things slide…and more than just cussing

Comments

@lbrewington 2w

. Great song. The line "But cornbread—denied…I think maybe that cussing was justified" got a chuckle out of me. The Bridge though is my favorite vignette, although they are all great. The line:

Something about a road to someplace
Being paved with those

just too good. Maybe cheating if it's a bridge (or the hook, which is also great) so I'll throw out my other favorite line which is :

Ignore what’s in the slick brochure the devil tries to sell

Double hockey sticks is next level spelling for sure.

@greengrassgirl 2w

My favorite line: "My flip flops are fried!" And I love this guy's firm intention to reform his language, and his utter inability to get it right! Delightful. 😀

@cbmagic 2w

This is a very cute song. I could say its H-E double hockey sticks good. :)

@mikeb 2w

Fun song! Reminds me of my southwest trip back in September!

@danieldeshon 2w

Well, I’ve tried… exactly!
Really fun song and lyric. I enjoyed listening & that’s some fine pickin’ going on!

@erbaer 2w

This is a great song with a solid message. Even if you don’t always do the right thing, you just keep trying. Well done!

@wynia 2w

Very clever lyrics and great music to go with it. Especially loved the line “But cornbread—denied…I think maybe that cussing was justified” 😆

@unknownbecky 3w

YES. Such a delightful song! Thanks for posting it!

@nancycunning 3w

Aww, Jeff - you made my day with this one. I was telling my husband this morning how much I loved hearing it, and now I can play it again and again. For me it belongs squarely in the Country Pantheon of funny songs about tender subjects. It starts with this reflection about trying to be a good parent - especially a role model then opens into being a good son, and learning about faith from a good mother, and making it your own. And then there are the memories of one good intentioned morning when I decided to make my son cornbread in a cast iron skillet before I took him and his baby sister on the subway to daycare. Carrying the pan into the dining room instead of setting it down on the kitchen counter seemed like a good idea at the time. Listening I immediately started imagining lyrics I want to write for this character to sing! Happy FAWM!

@billwhite51 3w

you do an excellent job of developing this idea, and i love the way the final line of each verse devolves from sining to speaking. it is part of what the delivery real. i especially like the opening couplets to each verse. excellent writing and delivery so glad to hear your voice wrapped around those words.