The Rise and Fall and Rise of Crocs

9 weeks ago by @troubadette

Liner Notes

In my professional comedy career (it's a real thing I promise) I will occasionally write a song for a specific show. That is what I did on July 5th for local legend Jack Swallows' variety show "Croc of Sh!t", a show about... Crocs.

Honestly, I have very few opinions about Crocs, but the Wikipedia page was interesting, and as I wrote this song at the very last minute the day after 50/90 started, I reckon it counts.

Lyrics

The Rise and Fall and Rise of Crocs

This controversial shoe was first sold in 2002
Footwear designed to float if you by chance fall off a boat
Created by some guy named Andrew Rendyhoff
I w00onder if he knew how his creation would take off
No matter if you wear them with or without socks
Let me tell the story of the rise and fall and rise of crocs

Spoken: by 2017, over 300 million pairs of Crocs had been sold worldwide

An overnight success Though not exactly formal dress
A huge financial hit No matter how you look at it
Ugly can be beautiful was their ad campaign
Though there are strong detractors who’d argue that they’re lame
No matter if you wear them with or without socks
Let me tell the story of the rise and fall and rise of crocs

Spoken: Crocs were ranked the sixth worst thing to happen to men in 2007 by Maxim.

But the financial crisis of the late 2000s Wasn’t all that easy to bounce back from
And there’s more than a tinge Of crucial cultural cringe
People getting judgey about those who dare to leave the house with crocs on

Spoken
They closed down their final company owned production centre in 2018 and honestly, things weren’t looking great for Crocs. It would take a miracle to save them now… or perhaps a global pandemic!

During COVID-19 That apocalyptic fever dream
To combat the despair Free Crocs for those working in healthcare
These guys know their marketing, and now they’re back on top
Crocs aren’t going anywhere, no matter who begs them to stop
They’ve been part of the footwear scene for over 20 years
And now we wear them anywhere because the world is ending so who cares?
So no matter if you wear them with or without socks
You can’t deny the rise and fall and rise of Crocs

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