5090 by FAWM: "When I'm With You (I don't need luck)"

When I'm With You (I don't need luck)

10 weeks ago by @tcelliott

NSFW

Liner Notes

For Phoebe

Challenge: Use only one rhyme in a song (and not suck.) Written from the songfight title "I Don't Need Luck"
#americana #folk #altcountry #songfight

Lyrics

I don't need no luck when I'm with you
I don't need no luck when I'm with you
Luck don't have a thing to do
With all the shit we've been through
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you

I won't wish upon a star for you
I won't wish upon a start for you
You're the first thing I ever knew
That I would never doubt to be true
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you

When I have bad dreams I run to you
'Cuz no-one else can calm the beast like you

I'm a better man when I'm with you
I'm a better man when I'm with you
I don't have a thing to prove
Whenever I'm next to you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you

Comments

@mctown 5w

Nice.

@lbrewington 7w

Like the rhythm here and the guitar riff is truly pleasing. Also, you did it with the one rhyme and that alone is impressive.

@stephenwordsmith 10w

Had I not read your liner notes, I wouldn't have worked out what you were doing with this one. It's full of lyrical plain truths, put so simply that every new arrival of the rhyme feels meditative. The refrain is very powerful.

@mahtowin 10w

I like that recurring riff you're playing...it sounds like it's certainly turning up and up...and fits the lovely lyrics!
Really beautifully made!

@gwynjones 10w

I really like this...has a classic feel to it and the guitar sounds just great...very memorable too...

@beacon 10w

Wow, this is great. I wouldn't have picked up on the challenge prompt if you hadn't mentioned it. I like the form and definitely routed in trad. Nice job, and a lovely sentiment to Phoebe.

@nahlej381 10w

This is cool! Can I play some drums or bass on one of your tunes this summer? Idky but your stuff puts me in mind of pavement and stuff I was into when I was discovering them…ass ponys and others with a touch of that Neil young folk music with punk rock sensibilities idk I dig it. Be cool to get one in the can, as it were.

@coolparadisoMod 10w

I do one of these now and again and its tricky, but you've carried it off really well! Good use of other techniques like volume change ,pace change pauses etc that cover the one rhyme really well! Nicely done

@andygetch 10w

Way to break through and get one posted. Sounding good!

@davidtaro 10w

Well, it certainly doesn’t suck! Gorgeous, simple, clear tune. Feels like the constraint has brought a real focus to the song, but I might be reading that in I guess. Splendid songwriting 👏