Daddy's Merry-Go-Round

1 week ago by @jessicamagoch

Liner Notes

I was inspired by @red_smith song about his mom at our open mic - and I wrote my own version of my experience with my dad! This was the hardest song to write, I couldn't get the words in the verses to work, and I think it's just internal resistance. But in the end, I realized, this has a happy ending..
#acoustic #singersongwriter

Lyrics

da da da da da da da da da da da da dum
da da da da da da da da da da dum
when I was 6 we would go to the track
and hit Chinatown on the way back
it was so nice
you bought us fried rice and we hid in the van
while you talked to the man
but in between the happy days
were belts and bruises on our legs
if we ran away we'd get it worse
"I'm doing what's best for you
trust me, love hurts" it hurts oh it hurts
how could you love and fear someone so much
be both harmed and protected by their touch
they build you up and break you down
and break you up and build you down
it's the ride you can't get off
it's daddy's merry go round
it's the ride you can't get off
it's daddy's merry go round
one day I crept down the stairs
and saw what I shouldn't have seen
you were skinny and shivering on the couch
as Mommy fed you saltines
then you left for a year to get better
left mom with 5 kids and government cheddar
we shut down your store
DJ's odds and ends and visited you on kids weekends
one Sunday it was time to go, Stand By Me on the radio
I hugged you so tight and cried and cried
that they let you come back with us just for the ride
for the ride
just for the ride
how could you love and fear someone so much
be both harmed and protected by their touch
they build you up and break you down
and break you up and build you down
it's the ride you can't get off
it's daddy's merry go round
it's the ride you can't get off
it's daddy's merry go round
and when you finally came home for good
we thought it would all be great
it turns out it would just worsen our fate
but then I was just about 8
lied to CPS so you wouldn't go away
as much as it hurt you needed to stay
I was 18 when you hit me last
I could have fought back
but instead I laughed. I laughed
ha ha ha ha
how could you love and fear someone so much
be both harmed and protected by their touch
they build you up and break you down
and break you up and build you down
it's the ride you can't get off
it's daddy's merry go round
it's the ride you can't get off
it's daddy's merry go round
ah da da da da da da da da da
dum da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
da da da da da da da da da da da da
now I've got two of my own
and I could never think of hurting their bones
my therapist says it's a
victory to unlearn what I've
Learned unsee what I've seen
I've broken this cycle of violence in my family history
LA da da da da da da da da da da da dum
broken the cycle of violence in my family history
LA da da da da da da da da da da da dum
I've broken the cycle of violence in my family history

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