two apologies

3 weeks ago by @sophiewritessongs

Liner Notes

for joseph, who i still love dearly

Lyrics

we talked about getting married just a week ago
i said “i’m taking your last name, this one has to go”
you said you didn’t realise that it was that bad
i said my face is the only thing i’ll keep from my dad
i wanted to take your name to rid me from him
i trusted you to wash away my inherited sin
you said “if”, i said “when” the wedding would occur
we won’t ever get married, i was certain we were

we were both apologising at the same time
after all of that it ended in a landslide
at least we can say that we tried
i’ll lock my door, you won’t look back, i won’t cry
i’ll watch you leave without any goodbyes
i say you should rest your tired eyes

get home safely, darling, get some sleep
be a little selfish, do whatever you need
you don’t have to take the weight of it all
we’re both suffering from this withdrawal
we can’t come back, can’t do this again
but you are always someone i’ll defend
i hate how it ended, but you had to leave
one year, one door closing, two apologies

now whenever i see you it’s always painful at best
you look away quickly, i’m in no place to protest
there’s words in our eyes but so much we can’t say
it was hard to leave you, it would’ve been worse to stay
no revenge, no bad blood, i’m not bitter at all
i’m not over it yet but i don’t want you to call
i know you understand there’s nothing i could’ve done
but you saw it coming and you chose not to run

i look up in your direction at the wrong time
i have to fight getting lost in your eyes
i can’t imagine what it must be like
you don’t tell your friends that we broke up, but i do
i tell them that i didn’t want to lose you
but at least we can say that we tried

we can’t redo this or get a third chance
we tried and we failed, life’s fair like that
it was a mistake to think we could do it
you won’t help yourself, we can’t be fixed
we can’t come back, can’t do this again
but you are always someone i’ll defend
i hate how it ended, but you had to leave
one year, one door closing, two apologies

i’m not one who does well on their own
so i’ll find someone new, somewhere else to call home
i’ll still write songs, you still have no words
you didn’t know what to say when worst came to worst
it hurt to love all the ways we would break
i knew you had some cracks that i couldn’t erase
i hope you get better, i hope you’re happy
one painful year, one door closing, two apologies

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