14 and 40

3 weeks ago by @rubberbandage

14 and 40

rubberbandage

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Liner Notes

This is about how we’re going through the same civil rights fight for basic equality all over again but even more vicious and targeted for #trans people in particular, and how pissed I feel that I’m having an amazing personal renewal while living in a country that is actively erasing me, forcing me to be an adult weary beyond my (actually long) years when I just want to be a teenager for a second time.

More specifically, I’ve been on feminizing hormones for just over 2 years, making me roughly 14 in trans time. I’m also 40 years old in clock time :-)

I guess NSFW for some mild teenage swearing.

Lyrics

In the last week I’ve already
aged a year we
shouldn’t have to look this good
but feel so weary

I thought we’d learn to leave
that bullshit in the past
I thought we finally would grow up at last

So why do I still feel so young
so much to overcome
A tenuous hold on what’s stable
and why do I feel so damn old
like I’m already cold
my childhood like a distant fable

Coursing through my veins is
life that feels brand-new
surrounding bones that creak as if
they’re 92

I want to party like I
never have before
while every club is closed
and boarding up the door

(Chorus)

I really thought that our society
would show some actual maturity
I’m just a girl beyond the binary
I just happen to be 14 and 40

(Chorus)

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