Seductive Furniture

7 weeks ago by @philkmills

Seductive Furniture

philkmills

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Liner Notes

#country #satire #lies

I don't want to talk about where this came from. 😀 The NSFW is maybe not necessary, but better safe....

For people living elsewhere, my dictionary has a definition of 'vanity' as "a bathroom unit consisting of a washbasin typically set into a counter with a cabinet beneath", apparently an Americanism...also common in Canada. In other words, it's definitely not a euphemism for...anything.

Lyrics

Chorus:
Why won’t people
Stop their laughing
It’s tragic, to be sure
When you find you
Are a victim
Of seductive furniture

Jokers on the internet engage in crazy talk
Unwelcome as advances from that chair that wants to rock
Couched in coded references to padded seats as toys
When you are nothing but a normal, hetero-sectional boy

[Chorus]

Rod Serling meant tobacco in those ads for Chesterfields
Not talking of the kind of satisfaction some can yield
The intentions of the love seat set you thinking about wood
You manage to resist and whisper, “Ah, so-fa, so good.”

[Chorus]

You’re right when you insist that none of this is proven true
And totally not something a faux-hillbilly might do
There’s safety in the bathroom; it’s almost temptation-free
But you’re staring in the mirror as you stroke your vanity

[Chorus]

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