5090 by FAWM: "Intertwined"

Intertwined

8 weeks ago by @cjk

Skirmish: Make the Fragment Whole (... (@robinleaf)

Intertwined

cjk

00:00

Liner Notes

FAWM 2024 endet with 25 songs and a fragment, which had three verses I liked but had no idea where to go with. Then I wondered, what if it wasn't one but two persons singing. And the idea stuck. With this skirmish I took two of those fragments (the first 4 lines of the dragon and the serpent), ditched the third, wrote more lines for the verses and a chorus. Now all that's missing is music, but I'm working on it.

I'm not a 100% happy with the title, so if you have any ideas ...

Addendum 25.07.24: I've changed the title to "Intertwined".
I also have music now, but I can't sing two different voices and my melodies are very limited, so if ANYONE wants to put their own MUSIC on it, please GO for it.

#skirmish #formerfragment #filk #dragons #mysticalcreatures #lovesong #duet #singersongwriter #collaborationswelcome

Lyrics

Intertwined

Skydragon:
Above the clouds I'm soaring
between the sky and earth
High in snowy mountains
lies the place of my birth
And there in my secret lair
I keep my treasures hidden
Ancient knowledge, relics, jewels,
which for mortals are forbidden

Seaserpent:
Beneath the waves I'm hiding,
deep at the ocean's ground
Guarding all the mysteries
that never should be found
But now and then the surface calls
and I rise from a sunlit sea
And wait for my sky-bound love
to come and dance with me

Both:
Then we twirl above the water, our bodies intertwined
Above, below, the currents flow - hope and glory for our kind
Our scales scintillate, stardust, ice and fire
And we hold on to each other as we join in our desire
Yes, we whirl above the water, our bodies intertwined
Wind and rain, a hurricane - hope and glory for our kind

Skydragon:
Oh, my most cherished gem,
I can't take you to my caves
For you would surely wither there
Far away from your waves

Seaserpent:
Good hunting, my wandering star,
Fair winds over land and sea
Until our love and yearning
Will bring you back to me

Both:
Then we twirl above the water, our bodies intertwined
Above, below, the currents flow - hope and glory for our kind
Our scales scintillate, stardust, ice and fire
And we hold on to each other as we join in our desire
Yes, we whirl above the water, our bodies intertwined
Wind and rain, a hurricane - hope and glory for our kind

Yes, we whirl above the water, our bodies intertwined
Wind and rain, a hurricane - hope and glory for our kind

(c) 17.07.2024/25.07.2024 by C.J. Ueberall

Comments

@cjk 8w

Thanks everyone for your kind and encouraging words.
@chris_buono Thanks. I'm sure there are duets out there somewhere, after all this community has so many things. But it's nice to know I surprised you with something.
@janeg I'm not surprised you like it. Hey, how about singing it with @philkmills?
@tawny249 I didn't know the word 'scintillate' before, found it at the Rhyme zone dictionary looking for an alternativ to glittering. Glad it worked.
@mahtowin Danke. Es fällt mir tatsächlich leichter Songs in Englisch zu schreiben als in Deutsch.

I've changed the title to "Intertwined". Thanks everyone for your suggestions and input.
The reason I wasn't happy with "Dragondance" is that I didn't want to call them dragons. I put Skydragon and Seaserpent here so it was clear when a different character was singing, but it's not on my own music sheet. Of course, it seems very likely that's what they are, but I could also call them Skyserpent and Seadragon, right? Or whatever might exist in someone's fantasy world.

@janeg 8w

My kind of love song! A definite keeper; please compose the music. I too was thinking Intertwined belongs in the title. Add “with the dragon” or “with the serpent” if that doesn’t feel like enough. Would make great theme music for an animated short.

@tawny249 8w

This is even more impressive knowing English isn't your first language. I mean, a good use for "scintillate" as a serious descriptor is hard to find, but you did it. Nice rhythm to this, too. I'm honestly fine with the title as is, but if you insist on changing it, I'd second "Intertwined," or maybe suggest something like "Above and Below"? I'm not the best with picking titles though - do what feels right! :)

@mahtowin 8w

Oh, das ist schön!
Mir gefällt die Idee einer Art Duett und wie Du das umgesetzt hast!
Ausserdem bin ich beeindruckt von Deinen Englischkenntnissen!

@chris_buono 8w

Uniquely engaging write! Not often, if at all during 50/90, have I ever found a story told duet style. Nice flow, pattern, and reveal.

Since you're asking about title, why not instead:
"Skybound Love," "One," or "Intertwined"?